Cold Feeling
by Alexia Luthor
Summary: AU. Things go differently in "The Gift"... not for the better. CD - Spike/Xander (please read) Let me know if I should continue


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Cold Feeling

Summary: Spike and Xander save Dawn differently than in "The Gift"

Author**: **Alexia

Spoilers: The Gift

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters… only half the plot is mine.

Feedback: Pleeeeaaase?

Archive: Ask first, please.

Rating: PG-13 violence

Pairing: Xander/Spike

Category: Established relationship Angst, without a doubt.

Author Notes: This is an AU for "The Gift". What would have happened if Xander and Spike had gone up together, keeping in mind that they are a couple.

"Xander?" There was silence, the Agony lingering in the air, coming off in waves from the people standing by. Agony fed on Agony, feasting on the Depressed, Hopeless, Rage that flowed through everyone around, growing and feeding more. "Xander? Xander, come on, let's go." Spike shook Xander's arm.

Confusion was up there with the Agony, but it took a second seat silently, while the pain rolled off and crashed onto each other, making it stronger, bigger. "Spike, leave him alone!"

"What, and leave Xander behind?" Spike's voice trembled and cracked. "Come on Xan, no time for naps." Spike shook Xander more roughly. "WAKE UP!" Buffy's patience broke and she lunged at the vampire, pulling him away from Xander's broken form. Spike was knocked on his ass, his knees bent.

"Leave him alone! God! He's dead Spike! Just stop it, you sick fuck!" Spike looked at Xander, blinking. No Xander. Slayer was right, Xander was gone, dead, he's seen it before. 

"Xander?" The group watched as something shattered in Spike's eyes. Like glass, shinning pieces dispersed and sparkled, the tears fell. "Xan...?" Spike's Despair was lined with Anger, Anger, something else that fed off itself. Spike clenched his fists, the tears falling; the vampire shook his head. "No. No, Xander...?"

~*~*~*~*~

"XANDER! Get down!"

Xander pulled himself up the unsteady structure, never falling behind to far from the vampire. "No way! I'm not letting you go up there alone!" They were getting closer now; they could hear Dawn screaming. 

"I can take care of myself! Immortal remember!?" 

"Yah, I remember!" Xander sped up and got to the top nearly the same time Spike did. The "man" from the store, the one with the tail was already there... he had a knife. Spike and Xander charged the not-quite-man and knocked the knife from his hand. 

Dawn watched as her friends fought for her life; the demon was surprisingly strong considering his appearance. They fought for endless minutes, grunting and throwing punches. Spike had nearly fallen off and Xander was standing up again.

"SPIKE!!" Dawn shrieked as the man took out a crossbow from the folds of his attire and pointed it at the vampire. Spike shut his eyes in reflex and heard the arrow hit. Spike opened his eyes to see Xander in front of him, arrow sticking into his chest. 

"Love you."

"Xander?" Spike barely had time to say the boy's name before the demon pushed them both over the edge.

~*~*~*~*~

Spike clutched his knees to his body, trying to fill in the ice that was breaking its way into his chest, into his heart. Spike was crying now, no end in sight. Spike's Heart renching sobs were poured into his knees and arms. Buffy backed away as the vampire rocked himself, crying so ardently. Spike was cold.

The confusion was felt the same around the group, except for Dawn, who watched Spike, her heart breaking in time with his, for his. Buffy walked over to the group. "What's going on? Why does *he* care?" 

Dawn's eyes narrowed at her sister's insensitivity. "God Buffy, they, loved each other." Buffy was shocked, but saddened more. Spike looked up from his lap and at Xander. Spike pulled himself towards the man… dead and gone man.

"Love you too, Xander, pet." Spike kissed Xander on the forehead and took the ring from off Xander's finger and placed it on his own above the identical one. Plain silver band.

The story was eventually told, how Xander gave his life for Spike's and how Spike blamed himself entirely. The Scooby Gang now had the reason why Anya had left a year earlier and why Xander had coped so well.

Dawn had been at Xander's grave just in time to see Spike sitting with him, waiting for the sun to rise. Dawn had coaxed Spike into shade, telling him that if he died over something like this, Xander would have died for nothing.

Spike is older now, working for Angel investigations, trying to make it up to Xander. Make sure that Xander would be proud of the life he gave to Spike. 

Spike was still cold though. And he still had Xander's ring.

Spike thought it was mildly funny, Angel was like his father and Spike had always claimed that he would never become broody. Amusing how children always said they would be different from their parents and ended up like them anyway.

Spike didn't laugh though.

Angel was working on that.

-Its not enough to keep living, you have to keep feeling.


End file.
